A blind lawyer using echolocation to break out of captivity and escape an autocratic country? No, it’s not Daredevil escaping from Doctor Doom’s Latveria, it’s political dissident Chen Guagncheng escaping from house arrest in China.

Now Chen Guangcheng, popularly known as the “Barefoot Lawyer”, has revealed that he escaped using a “bat-like echolocation” technique to navigate his way more than a mile to a neighbouring village and the safety of a friend’s home.

“I drew on an old skill I had developed when I was three or four years old, a kind of bat-like echolocation,” he writes in his new memoir, ‘The Barefoot Lawyer’, which is published this week.

“By making just the slightest ‘shhhh’ sound, no louder than a light wind in a pine tree, I could determine from the returning sound waves what was in front of me, whether large object or wall, forest or field.

“I hissed under my breath and listened carefully to the patter of the raindrops for clues about what surfaces were ahead of and around me.”

Here’s a map of his escape route.

Japan says brie is not cheese:

Australia’s dairy exports to Japan are chiefly cheese, including fresh mozzarella blended there with cheese from Japan’s declining dairy industry, mainly for the pizza market.

Beyond that, the industry faces the immense obstacles of the Knife Test and the Stand-Up Test. The first requires cheese seeking to be imported by Japan, to be cut with a sharp knife.

If any cheese sticks to the blade, it is ruled not to be cheese, and cannot gain entry. This rules out almost all soft cheeses.

The Stand-Up Test provides a further, almost insurmountable, barrier to such cheeses. A sample is left at room temperature for 24 hours. If it changes shape in any way — as, for instance, ripe brie will do — then again it is barred.

The meme journalists at BuzzFeed reckon Bill Shorten “cannot shake off” this gif I made. It is now (checks notes) “a classic meme”.

The Andrews Government has issued new intellectual property guidelines for the public service, which recommend the use of Creative Commons licensing and require that “[t]he State grants rights to its intellectual property with the fewest possible restrictions.” The litmus test, as far as I’m concerned, is whether public transport timetables and journey planning find their way into Google Maps, and apparently that’s coming in March.

In the prologue to this week’s episode of This American Life, two men laughed about this story:

Ira Glass: As Miles points out, this story that she has made up, it really makes no sense at all. OK, she’s got a sociopath boyfriend —

Miles: — who had beat up his girlfriend over the very nerdy error of buying a video camera that wasn’t under warranty.

Ira Glass: *laughs*

Miles: *laughs* It wasn’t like he was drunk, and he found her cheating on him, or anything. He was like, he’s violent enough to beat somebody up. But only if they buy a video camera that we don’t have a warranty for? Because god forbid, something should happen, and this camera breaks down. We can’t get our money back. We can’t get it repaired. You know what’s going to happen. It’s like, what?

But that’s exactly what many violent relationships are like. The violence doesn’t only come in response to wrongdoing by the victim. It is completely arbitrary. A broken camera is exactly the kind of excuse some violent men will use to justify their behaviour, and their victims live in fear of any tiny transgression, real or imagined, that might spark another attack.

It annoys me that two intelligent men would have so little understanding of this endemic problem that they can *laugh* about how implausible it is.